'I don't know what's more stressful: going sailing or not going sailing...'
'He thought it would be easier than refixing his mainsheet cleats the right way round...'
PBO's Dave Selby shares some amusing advice on how to make the most of boat jumble bargains, as buyers or sellers, ahead of the Beaulieu Boatjumble.
This month's special and unique podcast features Dave Selby actually singing...while sober
'Bailers? Certainly. Do you want skimmed, semi-skimmed or full fat?'
'So much nicer being on a proper boat, isn't it, darling...'
'Can't understand why we always have the river to ourselves at this time of year...'
Grease is the word
When floorboards float
Sailors getting all of a lather
'Oh, we're a great team: he provides the boat, I bring the biscuits...'
'What do you mean - I'm only competitive when I'm winning?'
'That washing machine has got to go...'
‘It’s OK Dave – there are still some bargains left...’
May 2013: ‘... And they paid less than us!’
April 2013: 'The pilot book must be wrong - there's no sign of that rock anywhere...'
March 2013: 'No Dave, there isn't a button that says "Relax and put your feet up"!''
February 2013: 'I think we'll need the skis for this bit'
January 2013: 'Oh I forgot to say - might be a bit soft in places...'
December 2012: 'Here, Dave, could you pass up the sun-block when you get a sec?'