Dave Selby: Pottier than The Odyssey

Dave Selby

Sailing should not have to be pot luck!

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There’s no doubt Odysseus had worse: trapped by a predatory woman on an island, facing raging storms at sea, grasped by a deadly whirlpool, lured onto the rocks by sirens and fighting off a one-eyed giant. All in all, it sounds like one of my more memorable Greek flotilla sailing holidays, but I can’t help feeling Homer missed a trick as it lacked a vital element that would have been a cert for a Learning From Experience.

When Odysseus got home after 20 years – and this was before the EU’s automated digital ID scheme – and was about to fill in his insurance claim, he
found all his so-called mates making a play for his wife.

This is all routine stuff for returning from a stag trip, and a similar thing happened to me once.

The only difference was I’d only been away a week and, along with my girlfriend, all my furniture was gone too. I still miss the furniture.

Anyone who’s seen The Odyssey movie will notice an omission that could have made it a lot more dramatic and relatable for PBO readers.

What’s missing from The Odyssey?

What’s missing is a lobster pot episode, and I’ve had my share of these.

The first time I encountered this menace was in a rustic seafront pub, where they were hanging from the rafters, plastic lobsters inside.

As decorative features they’re harmless enough, but if they fall from the ceiling they really hurt.

Unfortunately, they can also be found in the water, where in the past I’ve found them quite convenient.

Before I’d done any courses and knew what’s what and what’s knots, I once tied my tiddly Sailfish 18 up to a pot marker for lunch, until a bloke in a workboat explained that it wasn’t a visitor’s mooring, but would give me half an hour for five quid.

Instead of cash, I offered him a credit card and asked for a receipt, but this angered the gods and set off a chain of events that made The Odyssey look like a picnic in a pedalo on a boating lake.

My odyssey began when I was invited as guest to help deliver a tall ship bound for the Orkneys in return for delivering a talk to the 16 crew when we got there.

On day one off the Essex coast we snagged a marker and were stuck fast.

We launched the rigid inflatable boat (RIB) and spent an hour freeing the gear that was marked by a weed-encrusted plastic jug.

No one could have spotted that.

A few days later as I was helming off Robin Hood’s Bay, the skipper surveyed the horizon in the fading light and said: “Blimey, it’s a bloody minefield.”

“Yikes,” I said, “I thought they were lobster pots!”

“They are, but it’s a minefield of them.”

“I didn’t know they catch lobsters with explosives,” I replied.

Actually, it was more like a giant skiing slalom as all the pots were well marked with poles and black flags.

A tall ship under motor responds slowly to the helm and it’s easy to overcorrect, but I must admit I got immense satisfaction from threading our way through and at anchor that evening felt flushed with pride, which was one of Odysseus’s sins.

Prop drop

The next morning as we put the engine in gear, nothing happened.

The prop had fallen off, and was thought to be a consequence of our earlier snagging.

This was just the beginning of the odyssey which saw us towed into Hartlepool and the charter bookings cancelled as we awaited repairs.

I travelled by train up the East Coast with my mate, Graham, hopped on to a ferry to the Orkneys, and in the village hall opened my talk with the immortal words:

“Good evening to you both.”

The other member of the audience was the barman.

As my talks generally go, it was a success, as there was less heckling than usual.

If they make a movie of my small odyssey the lead role is more likely to be played by Danny DeVito or Joe Pesci rather than Matt Damon.

As for the bigger picture, the sea belongs to us all.

Fishermen and commercial tall ships have to earn a living and recreational sailors are entitled to enjoy the sea without the hazard of poorly marked fishing gear.

It’s to everyone’s advantage.

I’m amazed that in English waters there is only voluntary guidance for marking static fishing gear, though since 2020 in Scotland it’s mandated.

The Cruising Association is doing fabulous lobbying work on this and you can join their campaign at theca.org.uk/lobster-pot-campaign

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